Week Four: the fat I abhor

The diet is still in effect with only a larger margin of cheat days. The weight loss has slowed, as is to be expected - but is still at work - this morning, the scale assured me I had dropped below the 190 lbs. threshold. I celebrated with chili cheese fries. After an X-ray and some blood tests, I'm happy to say I don't have any broken bones in my wrist, no infection, and no gout...leaving a sprain or strain as the reason for my general immobility of said wrist. Bottom line: limited working out. I am going to try select features of P90X, limited to my abilities, or patience/interest. I've dropped a waist size, am getting closer to wearing smaller shirts and have discovered new and exciting belt holes.

How is everyone else progressing oh yee few who still visit this forum??!!

I have been having some success- I've dropped down to a size 10 and over the weekend I gave away a bunch of size 14 and 16 clothes to my little sister (I understand that this makes me sound like a stone cold bitch and hardly counts as she's had 3 kids and is still nursing and we also had a long conversation about how my boobs are now the smallest of any woman ever bearing the name Chidester) but it felt great! I've always been the fat one and I'm glad things are finally changing (if this diet fails I can always get those bars from mean girls and induce morbid obesity in my siblings, right?). I'm also getting stronger and can lift more at the gym but I inexplicably lost my ankle brace so I'm dealing with a lot of extra soreness in my bad ankle so could only stand the elliptical for 35 mins yesterday-thinking of switching to the rowing machine for my cardio. My weight hasn't gone down much, but as long as my waist is getting smaller I'm not very concerned with that number, though it's only a few more pounds and my BMI will no longer categorize me as obese (just overweight, haha!).

Its good to some success stories! My week has been a catastrophe.

I had a chest infection which stopped me from running- I tried, but I got so wheezy and dizzy that the temptation to abandon ship and sit in a field a take terrible instagrams of spring rabbits hopping about, completely won over my desire to be in anyway athletic.
And food wise, as a serial comfort eater, completely failing at her exercise regime, I drowned my dwindling self respect in chocolate and carbohydrates. So I'm bloated and spotty now as well as flabby and disheartened. Or, as my mother candidly put it: " not only do you look like a turnip, you act like one as well." Tough love hahaha.....

I haven't got on the scales yet this week. Still psyching myself up to it.

But onwards and upwards. My chest has cleared up and the sun is shining, so I have no excuse not to exercise. I'm going to pick up where I left off and go back to my rigid diet plan. My mini goal for the next fortnight is to shift 5-6 lbs. So no carbs and a good 90 mins of exercise everyday for 14 days. Fingers crossed. I shall not be a "turnip" for much longer!!

Well, I've managed to finish the 30 day squat challenge, and I'm pleased to say my legs feel so much stronger than when I first started. I don't seem to have lost much weight at all, but I'm finding the need to pull my trousers up more often, so I'm thinking what I've lost in fat, I've gained in muscle. Yay!

Now that I'm done that, I'm starting on a 30 day push up challenge alongside a 30 day sit up challenge. I don't want to lose the muscle in my legs though, so I'm going to continue doing 200 squats a day down from 250 on my last day of the challenge. I'm hoping it will keep the strength in my legs up. They feel great! I'm also aiming for quicker timing on these as well, as it keeps the challenge going. I found that as I got closer to 250 squats, I no longer needed to do the Insanity work out, because by the time I'd done my squats, I was pouring sweat and my heart pounding. I also tended to do a bit of jogging on the spot throughout, to keep the circulation going and break it up a bit.

I have been a total fail lately. Gained back all the weight I lost and with finals coming up this week, let's just say the motivations to go to the gym and stay away from pasta and soda have all vanished. I spent two hours of my day studying and the rests watching tv. Plenty of time for the gym and plenty of time not to stuff my face with chicken fettuccine but alas. In desperate need of will power. I have Wakarusa and Bonnaroo coming up in just a few weeks. I planned on looking hot and hippy like so I need to do something STAT!

I have run up against something I've not noticeably experienced in my lifetime -- I became stressed out to the point where I was kick-the-door-jamb-walk-outside-and -sit-on-the-steps-breathing-heavily-angry-with-nothing-and-everything-and-what-the-hell-i'll-just-eff-the-diet.

Not sure what it was. I'm reliably steady and sound at nearly every moment. Perhaps a combination of an already busy life, then a busy weekend, including stresses from work, school, my child, and my poor wife who is simply less able to help around the house due to her pregnant state. then the lack of release I can get from eating terribly.

At the risk of coming up with a podcast title, I feel terrible about it. And while I didn't really do anything detrimental to my diet (had a good breakfast and lunch today), I was not exceptional as I had been this weekend (above my calorie goals, and cheating at an increasing rate).

I've broken a number of my ground rules: booze, pop (diet), chips, and taco shells.

This may sound trivial (and it probably is), but it has kicked my enthusiasm in the schnackles. I am currently sitting here with a diet Pepsi astride and slowly digesting two handfuls of Doritos Cheesy Nacho, and I could scarcely feel more defeated.

. . . and I just dramatically poured out the diet Pepsi in the sink like I'm in AA in a house littered with alcohol temptation.

IS THIS DIET BACK ON? HAVE I CONQUERED THIS FLEETING FAT DEMON? Yeah, I dunno. But I am drinking water and eating and arugula salad with no dressing. That counts for something.